Success

I think I finally “made it”.

No, I haven’t hit 100k in my business (truth be hold I haven’t even hit 5 figures, let alone 6!).

No, I haven’t sold out my programs.

Nope, haven’t found my soulmate, or bought my dream house (I’m actually in the process of a very difficult situation in the house I’m renting and am being forced to leave).

I haven’t hit a single “success” marker that everyone and their dog (and cat) brags about these days.

So what is it, then?

For the past few weeks, I’ve been preparing to deliver a free live session to launch my new 9 month 1-1 program called REBIRTH.

In one of the more recent posts I shared, I received a comment from a close (female) blood relative.

The tone of her comment was interesting.

I realized I’d hit a spot.

Under her words oozed the deep and ugly origins of our collective wounding.

And in that moment I realized something.

Over the last 4.5 years this is the thing I’ve been working on.

This is the spot that I’ve been longing to embody.

The last 1 percent of myself that I’ve kept hidden from the world out of shame and fear.

Of what they would say.

I’ve always known that my mom, my grandmother, my aunties – none of them – are in approval of my work, of me.

I’ve still forged on, seemingly with confidence and in defiance of this truth.

But not really.

You see, there was still that part of me – call her the inner child, or the wounded feminine – that still needed to scratch and claw, fight her way to protection.

Protection from being seen, judged, shunned by her own family.

But I’m a different woman today than I was 4.5 years ago.

Softer.

Yet stronger.

My emotional range fuller.

More solid in my being.

I can feel that my soul has landed a little more firmly on tierra firma.

I no longer feel ashamed of that part of me.

I no longer feel a need to protect or hide my fullness.

I stand with a sureness in my bones, despite and in this uncertainty and mystery we call life.