What is your capacity to sit in the liminal?
What is your tolerance for waiting and listening for the ground swell?
Mine is growing.
Every day.
I have been sitting in this bardo for years now.
Listening.
Deep surrender.
Sometimes and often …
Modulating between wanting for something to happen …
And waiting for the impulse of the deeper intelligence – life force, chi, goddess – to show me the way.
I’m still waiting.
I am a naturally slow person but even my faith, patience, and tolerances are being tested.
I don’t know when exactly, but at some point I decided to commit to this path of Great Mystery.
Of Surrender.
Of the places where it clashes with the physical world of bills, rent, and messy humanness.
Maybe it was sometime 20 years ago when I decided that my curiosity to follow human potential was going to be the thread that would lead me and inform the shape of my life.
Last night I came to a kind of clarity in my 3D world – that the relationship I had been pursuing and exploring (one that would literally bring me to the other side of the world) is not a viable one.
I found myself sitting in the knowing I have to leave, after only just arriving a week ago, and with no clear guide post on where to go or what to do next.
So here I am – sitting in the decision and listening.
Years ago, I began to devote myself to an exploratory somatic practice called Continuum Movement. Continuum gave some context and much needed framework at the time to ground the concepts that had already been emerging through my own body and experience. In the practice, there is a calling upon the greater fluid intelligence – bio intelligence – through resonance, sounding, curiosity, and an invitation for innovation to arise in the body.
I learned that given the opportunity, my body’s innate bio intelligent design could emerge and move through me, healing me, grounding me, and totally reshaping what I thought was possible for humanity on both an individual and collective level.
Lately I’ve been coming back to a regular Continuum practice.
If the framework of letting bio intelligence lead the way can reshape my body and physical experience, perhaps it’s time to find out how it can shape the rest of my life.
So here I find myself in a Greater Practice of Surrender.
Can I quiet myself enough to stay neutral?
Can I prepare my cells to receive information with diversity and curiosity and non-judgement?
How do I find the strength to keep coming back to Surrender when the collective conciousness tells me to do otherwise?
If you find yourself in the midst of existential dread, please know that you are not alone.
To live in this world and be anchored to inner knowing and greater awareness is not an easy load to carry.
Despite the cognitive dissonance of this global echo chamber, remember that it is safe to remember.
Remember that we don’t know why we are here.
Remember that the only evidence you need of your belonging here is your inhalation and exhalation.
You, deep, wise, animal being, belong here.
xo,
jenn