What is HOME?

I’ve been contemplating this for I feel like my whole life.

The answer changes in a way, but there is always something that never ever does.

 

Recognition.

Felt sense.

There is a knowing in my bones and simply knows home.

 

As babies, our nervous systems learn what “home” is through our mother, as she is our literal vessel of life.

Once Earth-side, home becomes our immediate family unit – mother and father – weaving into our system a deep rooted reference point to what is to become our sense of safety, security, belonging.

HOME.

 

That foundation becomes the basis for all of our experience of life, even into adulthood.

Pretty fucking crazy if you think about it.

 

If you’ve ever been in therapy, you are probably familiar with this concept of how the types of bonds created in infancy and childhood shape the way we relate in the world.

 

However, less talked about is The Thing that underlies All Things.

What is the thing that supports All of it?

In craniosacral therapy, we call it “The Field”.

In religion, God.

In the spiritual communities, Great Spirit, Great Mystery, The Universe.

Love.

 

It doesn’t really matter what name we give.

What matters is our relationship to the thing.

 

I will admit, I, like most people, was not blessed with a great set of healthy reference points for relationship.

However, underlying everything, I always felt a deeper sense of something I could never really quite describe in words.

But I felt it.

 

I especially felt it when I was in direct contact with The Land.

Wilderness.

There was a familiar recognition in my bones.

A sense of family, belonging, and deep deep love and support.

I felt it in the huge Ponderosa Pine tree I played under on my grandparents property.

I felt safe under her shade, safe in the arms of her fragrant, toasted honey bark.

 

I learned what HOME is through the land.

She helped me remember that my body, too, is Her.

 

She was my reference point.

It was in Her resonance that I was able to see myself under all of the patterns, the experiences, and the programming laid down into my nervous system.

She was my real foundation under it all.

 

Even though from a very young age, I’ve always had a deep connection with the Earth and the Land, I wanted to share my experience because recently I’ve experienced an exponential deepening with this relationship and it’s actually come through a kind of series of total devastations, destructions, and major loss.

 

This series of events totally disoriented me.

I lost my true sense of home for a while and began for the first time fearing and worrying about things obsessively that I had never before worried about.

I worried about being homeless and destitute.

I worried I didn’t have the capacity to take care of my basic needs.

I feared that my basic needs would soon not be met.

I lived in a sense of impending doom.

 

During this time, I was going through a major deconstruction and reorganization of unwinding myself energetically from my mom, grieving loss of my ancestral land, as well as the land I was born onto – my birthright.

While my soul and cells knew The Earth and Her Field as my True HOME, my nervous system was under a massive reorganization.

 

Although I am slowly emerging through to the other side of this process, and there is still years of gifts of integration yet to come, I wanted to share the importance of acknowledging the multiple levels of our relationship to HOME and their importance.

 

Each part of our system – human spirit, human animal – weave together both our energetic sense of HOME as well as our physical embodied sense. They are equally important, and in order to be able to take risks, embody our dreams and desires, they must both be in relationship and harmony with one another.

 

I was born into a physical body for a reason.

It’s our adventure to explore this experience called life in the human animal form.

It’s part of the pleasure of the experience, but it’s also the Great Challenge we decided at one point would be a fun ride 🙂

 

Regardless of how we decide to weave our dreams into reality, I just wanted to acknowledge the importance of having a solid, functional, and spiritual sense of HOME.

 

When we know in our bones that we are loved, we are connected, and we are deeply supported and held by Her …

Only then will we feel truly free, fully expressed, and in harmony with our own soul journey here on Earth.

 

xx

jenn