Can You Love Her, and Not Her Potential

Her, him, they, your own damn self – it doesn’t really matter who.   If you, like me have the blessing and curse of seeing the potential in others, then you may also fall into the trap of falling in love with who they could be rather than who they really are.   It’s ubiquitous…

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How I Deal With My Own Programming

I want to peel back the curtains and reveal something to you today, dear reader.   These are the conversations I have with myself on a daily, hourly, moment to moment basis.   I want to pop open the lid so you can see inside. Not because I’ve found some kind of revolutionary way of…

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Tantrums and Honest Communication

I love watching a good tantrum.   The younger the child, the more authentic (we tend to start to use our tantrums to manipulate our parents as we get older). There is something so pure about not yet knowing that you don’t have permission from society to fully express yourself, in the moment.   Am…

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The Subtle Art of Manipulation

How do you like to manipulate people?   Today I thought I’d write about some of my personal favourite ways. If you think I’m joking, I most certainly am not! And if you think that you are “above” the subtle art of manipulation, think again – we all do it.   If that ruffled your feathers a…

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When Helping Is Not Helpful

We love to be helpful.   From a very young age we are taught that helping makes us “good” people. Whether from a religious context or just simple kindergarden “we help each other” dogma, we learn that our value comes from how pleasant and “helpful” we are to others.   While this may seem rather…

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Hooks, Manipulation, and Clear Boundaries

I want to talk about a dream I had last night.   It was particularly powerful because it was a perfect example of my own deep healing and evolution in action.   In the dream I was in conversation with a man I didn’t know. He was a stranger. And in our conversation and in…

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I Judge People

It took me a really long time to be honest about this within myself. I judge people. You see, most of us don’t like to admit that we judge people. We’ve been taught that it makes us fundamentally “bad”, flawed, or even worse “un-evolved” humans, and so we deny deny deny. So what happens when…

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