The Subtleties of Self Protection

I wanted to share about a dream I had recently.   I was reconnecting with an old and very dear friend of mine. As we hugged, I could sense the layers upon layers of hardness that her body, and her being had developed around her. She was struggling with relationship, with deeper connection, with intimacy….

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Pain Doesn’t Need Fixing

We tend to think pain is a problem. In our collective belief, pain is a disease we must eradicate, find a cure for.   Pain is undoubtedly uncomfortable. Those who live with pain on a chronic and consistent basis will develop an entirely different relationship beyond uncomfortable, often experiencing depression, becoming identified with their pain,…

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The Wheel of Fortune

I’ve pulled the Wheel of Fortune twice this week and so I thought today is a good day to break it down.   Fate. Luck. Destiny.   When we like the results, this is what we call it.   Misfortune. Bad luck. Curse.   When we don’t like the results, this is what we call it….

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Why Self Improvement Isn’t

Self Improvement. Or is it?   There has been something really getting under my skin about the self improvement, teaching, and coaching industry for a long time – a really long time. There is just something that just felt off – something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Then last year, in early 2021, it…

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How I Deal With My Own Programming

I want to peel back the curtains and reveal something to you today, dear reader.   These are the conversations I have with myself on a daily, hourly, moment to moment basis.   I want to pop open the lid so you can see inside. Not because I’ve found some kind of revolutionary way of…

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Tantrums and Honest Communication

I love watching a good tantrum.   The younger the child, the more authentic (we tend to start to use our tantrums to manipulate our parents as we get older). There is something so pure about not yet knowing that you don’t have permission from society to fully express yourself, in the moment.   Am…

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The Gift of Silence

Lately I’ve been called to talk about nervous system range and capacity.   The other day I even started a video series on the topic.   But today I wanted to write about something that’s often called nervous system “load”. It’s also often called “stress” or “stressors”. Now, I think it’s important to distinguish and understand…

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The Subtle Art of Manipulation

How do you like to manipulate people?   Today I thought I’d write about some of my personal favourite ways. If you think I’m joking, I most certainly am not! And if you think that you are “above” the subtle art of manipulation, think again – we all do it.   If that ruffled your feathers a…

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When Helping Is Not Helpful

We love to be helpful.   From a very young age we are taught that helping makes us “good” people. Whether from a religious context or just simple kindergarden “we help each other” dogma, we learn that our value comes from how pleasant and “helpful” we are to others.   While this may seem rather…

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Hooks, Manipulation, and Clear Boundaries

I want to talk about a dream I had last night.   It was particularly powerful because it was a perfect example of my own deep healing and evolution in action.   In the dream I was in conversation with a man I didn’t know. He was a stranger. And in our conversation and in…

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