Dear mom,
You once told me that I’m your best friend and I’ve always resented that.
You see, I don’t want to be your friend.
Don’t want to be the person you call when you are upset or anxious.
I never agreed to that.
What I want is to be your daughter.
What I want is for you to call me because you want to listen to my stories about the house I’ve been creating for myself.
I want you to ask me about my garden, if I’m in love with someone special and that you’d love to meet him.
Mom, I want you to be my mom.
I want to be able to call you when I’m upset.
When I’m heartbroken and ashamed of what I did.
I want you to tell me that it’s ok to make mistakes.
I want you to tell me that I’m still lovable no matter what I do or say.
Mom, what I really want is for you to ask about how my day went and really really listen.
I want you to listen and never judge anything I say.
I want to feel like no matter what I do, and no matter what I say, that you will still love me.
I want you to ask about my business and tell me how brave I am for creating something I truly believe in. I want you to tell me how you watch all of my videos and think I’m wonderful – even if you don’t agree with what I say sometimes.
I want you to comfort me when I feel disappointed in people.
I want you to know enough to not give me advice. I want you to trust me – and most importantly, trust in me.
I never wanted to be your friend or confidant.
But I’ve always wanted to be your daughter.
Love,
Jenn