I wanted to talk about something I see a lot i the self development world and is often totally misconstrued, and that’s risk taking.

More specifically the relationship between risk taking and growth.

 

You’ve heard it many, many, (many), times before.

“Life begins outside of your comfort zone”

“Great things never came from comfort zones”

“A ship is always safe at harbour but that’s not what it was built for”

 

But here’s something I never hear talked about.

Growth, creativity, and innovation does not happen at gunpoint.

 

You see, the thing I never see distinguished, and that is always assumed is a certain level of safety.

It’s as simple as Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. If you do not have your basic needs as an animal being covered, it stops there.

 

Yesterday I went fo a walk to one of my favourite surf breaks and I was contemplating this. The fact is, until we are able to build our basic needs for survival and safety, only then do we even have a comfort zone to be able to move out from.

 

I want this to sink in at the cellular level.

Breathe this in.

 

If you are worried about how you are going to afford your groceries this week, or if you are in default in paying your mortgage or rent, you are needing to take care of nurturing yourself first.

 

Somehow, in the personal development space, we’ve created a paradigm that has us believing that we must take constant risk to produce constant growth. Perhaps this is the product of an industrial mindset applied onto a capitalist model – I don’t know, and it really doesn’t matter in the end.

 

What matters is that we start waking up to what is the real priority.

 

Why was taking the risk worth it in the first place?

What did we think we would gain or achieve?

 

Recently I’ve been embodying this on a personal level. In February 2021 I decided to completely deconstruct my business, drop out of the expensive coaching program I had been a part of, and get bare bones, crystal clear on what my priorities are.

I was living not only outside of my comfort zone, but also I realized I was putting my physical safety and wellbeing at risk in doing so.

I woke the fuck up.

I was no longer willing to buy into the whole “step out of your comfort zone” game.

And to be clear – it’s a game.

 

In this time of deconstruction and rest, I reconnected with something precious and sacred – my wholeness, my animal intelligence, my intuition, my soul.

I came home to a simple honesty – that in order to truly grow, we need a reference point of safety.

 

Just take children as an example.

The kids who are most willing to take risks, curiously explore, and push the boundaries of the unknown are the kids that know that they have a safe place to return to. They don’t think about it. They just know – their nervous system is wired for it. They know that no matter what happens, they are safe.

 

In my own healing process, and in working with clients, I know that the very first thing we need to do before we can shift anything is first build a reference point of safety. Without a foundation of safety, there is no creativity, innovation, or healthy risk taking.

 

I wanted to clarity “healthy” risk taking, because sometime what we see as risk taking behaviour can actually be our own safety mechanisms attempting to bring balance to a really fucked up situation – it’s survival. Sometimes something can look like growth but it’s really a taxed nervous system living in survival mode.

Which leads to burnout.

 

Burnout happens for many reasons, but basically, when we don’t have a fundamental sense of safety to lean into, our intelligent animal body will fight, flight, freeze – we will protect ourselves from system overload and meltdown.

That takes a lot of energy – an enormous amount of energy in fact.

 

So even if we know we need to take care and nourish ourselves, why don’t we?

I often wonder what our society would look like if we valued nourishment more than we value extraction.

The fact is, we live in a predominantly extractive society.

We value ourselves and our “contributions” based on how much we can extract.

I’m not just talking about planetary resources here, I’m talking about you and me.

We extract our energy. We pump out, we “produce”. We are the resource.

We extract our very life force energy in exchange for our safety and wellbeing as a cultural norm!

And the fucked up thing? Even though we know that on some level this is fucked up, we shame others into falling into line.

 

Oh. My. God.

Yeah.

Exactly.

 

So how do we get off of the hamster wheel?

 

I can only speak for myself and my own lived, in my body experience.

By the way what I mean by “in my body” or “embodied” experience is just that – I’ve tested it in real life vs. spewing out some theory that sounds really nice in some philosophy book. Theory vs. real life, lived experience are two very different things and I highly encourage you to actually practice the thing you preach and really test it out to see if it really works for you. It’s not about what’s “correct”, it’s about what’s true for you.

Anyway, in my own lived experience, I always come back to what can I land in? What are true resources for me? Am I leaning into them? Are my basic needs being met? Where am I malnourished (and I’m not just talking about food here)? Where am I restricting myself? Where am I leaking energy or resources that needs to be cut off or closed? What do I need right now?

 

For me, nourishment can look like this:

• Go surfing
• Sleep more
• Stop pressuring myself to be creative, or produce or do
• Do nothing
• Turn off technology
• Read all day long
• Sleep more (yes, I’m aware I put that twice – it’s on purpose)
• Review my relationships and ask if they are still in service to me
• Review my agreements and ask if they are still in service to me
• Do I need to make new agreements?
• Take a lot of time off
• Go surfing (yes, again)
• Go for a walk
• Eat more meat
• Go for a hair cut
• Do what I can to take care of my basic needs and finances
• Dance
• Eat when I’m hungry
• Eat what I’m craving when I’m hungry

 

These are pretty simple things really. However there are some very core pieces there that bring me home to my foundations of my wellbeing. It’s easy for example for me not to prioritize surfing because it’s a “hobby” – but it’s my therapist, my mental health, and reminder that I am always safe and taken care of in the world. That’s a pretty fucking important resource.

Something like eating more meat can seem very simple, but easily pushed to the side on a tight budget where pasta is more economical both in financial and time resources.

 

Your non-negotiables might look a lot different than mine, but some, like reviewing your agreements with yourself and your relationships, are universally important when it comes to building a solid foundation of wellbeing.

 

Some time ago, I made an important decision.

I decided that I will not extract my life force energy and trade it in for anything.

I decided that I will chose a different path and I also decided that this path is not only possible, but it’s the path for my own personal success.

I will not extract my life force energy to serve anything. I will nourish it, as it is sacred.

And I trust that in doing so, my life force with flourish and resonate all that is creation, beauty, and the Great Mystery that we are and that we are a part of.

For this is true growth.