bones

“You”, she said, looking directly at me, “need to get into your bones“.   And then she looked away and went back to addressing another student’s question. I hadn’t even asked my question. I had barely even opened my mouth to speak.   But she knew.   Her acute embodied-ness of her boundaries could see the…

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triggers

Let’s suppose for a moment, that you, like me are working on some kind of self-actualization.   Call it whatever you want. Even simply “being a better person”, or “being the best version of yourself you can be”.   A lot of us are striving for this for some reason or another. Just consider the…

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The Red Dakini

I feel like I am starting to gather at the point where I am no longer tracking my actions, my activities, my daily bread tethered to the nervous systems of other people and situations. I am beginning – the first tender threads taking root – to be lead by this thing called Desire. I am…

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I love the time and in between

I love the time and in between The calm inside me In the space where I can breathe I believe there is a distance I have wandered To touch upon the years of Reaching out and reaching in Holding out, holding in I believe This is heaven to no one else but me And I’ll…

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Safety Security Home

I don’t think I’ve ever really talked about this publicly but in early 2020 I decided to disengage from almost all contact with my mom.   At present, July 13th 2022, I realize it’s been exactly 2 years since the last time we exchanged emails privately and since Christmas of 2019 since the last time…

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The Money Experiment Step 1

The beginnings of this experiment start pretty much where many money mindset books and courses start.   It started for me by writing out some of my adaptive money habits and beliefs but with a twist. You see, many exercises ask you to journal all of your “negative money beliefs” through visualizations or mediations or…

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Starvation vs. Nourishment

I’m going to say something rather obvious and that’s If you starve yourself, you are going to lose weight. If you starve yourself, you will definitely lose weight. If you choose starvation over nourishment, you will inevitably change the shape of your body. But let’s be very clear. You will not love yourself more. You…

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The Practice of Being Human in Intimate Relationship

From today’s journal entry …   For context, I was contemplating my particular flavour of how I avoid intimacy. We all have different strategies, and a few years ago through deep inquiry, real life practice, and adventures in relationship experimentation, I discovered that my particular flavour is a kind of fog.   Keep things vague….

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Can You Love Her, and Not Her Potential

Her, him, they, your own damn self – it doesn’t really matter who.   If you, like me have the blessing and curse of seeing the potential in others, then you may also fall into the trap of falling in love with who they could be rather than who they really are.   It’s ubiquitous…

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