Recently I reposted a piece on my Facebook profile (see original post here) not sure what to expect from responses.
I normally don’t post controversial shit on my Facebook as I use it as a platform for my business and like to maintain an inclusive vibe and a safe place where people can share their true thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
This post, however, was eloquent, well written, and illuminated a very important voice that has over history been silenced.
The voice of women.
The voice of the Feminine.
Recently a friend replied to the post, calling it “needlessly hostile” and it illuminated something very important that I’d like to share.
This piece (again original here) is not intended as an attack on the Trans or gender fluid identifying people out there, rather, it brings forth a voice – a very important and historically silenced voice – that also needs to be honoured, seen, and witnessed.
Here’s the thing.
Just as I don’t know what your experience is being born in your body, having lived your life through your lens, what I do know is this.
You don’t know my experience.
You don’t understand the consequences of what it is like to be born in a woman’s body as a woman and the nuances, the complexity, and the experiences we’ve gone through.
You don’t know what it’s like as a young child to be told over and over again by your parents to close your legs.
You don’t know what it’s like to be told you are a whore by your own mother, sister, brother, father.
You don’t know what it’s like to be told you are a whore. Full stop.
You don’t know what it’s like to be told at 12 years old that you will likely have to either take hormonal birth control for the rest or your life or get a hysterectomy because your painful periods are not “interesting enough” of a “disease” to study.
I should also expand that you also probably don’t know what it’s like to regularly be in so much pain from your own menstrual cycle that you are left in a semi-conscious state on the bathroom floor between vomiting, and crying because you are in so much pain.
You also don’t know what it’s like to be gaslit by doctors, gynaecologists, and other women telling you you are being “overly dramatic” about your period pain and that it’s “really can’t be that big of a deal”.
You don’t know what it’s like to suffer from fibroids.
You don’t know what it’s like to lose pregnancy after pregnancy.
You don’t know what it’s like to move through the world in constant hyper-vigilance knowing on an intuitive, biological level, that your physiology is weaker, and so that makes your whole system feel and experience the world and your safety in it very differently than your male counterparts.
You don’t know what it’s like to have to think about getting a room mate simply because your physical survival and safety might rely on it.
You don’t know what it’s like knowing that you are more likely to be raped or sexually assaulted because of the body you embody (90% of sexual assault victims are women).
Here’s the thing.
I don’t know what your experience is like.
I don’t pretend to know.
However I do know that it’s valid and that you are valid as a sovereign human, and I fully support you making choices for yourself from a place of your own Truth and Sovereignty.
But let’s not pretend that by going through hormonal and/or surgical transformation that you know what it’s like to live my experience.
Because you do not.
You do not because you’ve never experienced those experiences.
It just is what it is.
Unfortunately we live in a culture that is in constant war with women and the feminine.
Yes, war.
If you don’t believe me, just look at the state of our planet, this beautiful Earth that sustains us and nourishes us.
She is the collective reflection with our current relationship with The Feminine and it is dismal, I’m sorry to say my friends.
We have a lot of inner work and healing to do it we want to see change.
I think it’s also important to also really have a hard look at what is truly “inclusivity”.
To me, inclusivity requires us to have a deep level of personal responsibility, embody our own personal power and sovereignty, and also take responsibility for our own personal and collective trauma.
That last one is a biggie because that is one that is massively being played our right now.
Personal & collective trauma.
Inclusivity is not pandering to and supporting the stories we hold around our trauma.
It’s being able to hold compassionate truth to illuminate our own responsibility of healing and doing the deeper inner work.
The state of our relationship to The Feminine is no one’s “fault”.
But I believe it is our personal and collective responsibility to heal our relationship with our own physical beingness – our physical expression as a mirror for the natural world around us that we are – who we are.
Does this make room for diversity?
Of course!
However, let’s not get confused about diversity vs. inclusivity.
Let’s not confuse our natural diverse expression with a deeply rooted embodiment trauma.
For more writings on the feminine, women, and embodiment of the feminine, check our the posts below …
The Shadowy Side of the Feminine