I have anxiety. Most people don’t really know this about me. They perceive me as a generally outgoing, extroverted, adventurous woman. They see me as youthful, playful, and fearless. And while I am many of those things (except extroverted, I am 100% an introvert) I can assure you, I am also human. I…
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I told her not to come. My best friend and sister really – I had told her not to come. It just wasn’t the right time, vacations, busiest tourist time, and worse, I had only 2 nights available in my own house because it was the busiest 2 weeks of the year and I…
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Yesterday I took the day off. I needed it. Time change, waking up too early to go surfing, the afternoon was a full on in and out of siesta experience. Contrary to what I’d like to believe about myself, I’m a pusher. I like to push myself. In my twenties, this expressed itself…
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Yesterday I was chatting with my friend Naomi about my past experience with all of the past Tower moments in my life – how I usually embrace and accept them. I hate them just as much as anyone else, but I also accept them – this is what is happening right now. Ok. There is…
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Something I have gotten very clear about recently is just how vital – literally vital – it is to fully occupy my form with my essence. To grow something, to truly create something, to allow it to emerge through you, you must be able to lay down it’s roots – your roots. This is the…
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I didn’t pull a tarot card today. I’m feeling the pull to write from the Great Mystery and see what emerges. As I moved through the last few days of personal retreat, I sat with something the main teacher/mentor had said many times. She said (abridged) that a lot of people struggle with…
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“Deal with what’s presently real; also deal with what you believe to be real” from my journal this morning Just because something is an illusion, doesn’t make the loss any less painful. In fact, the death of illusion can be even more difficult to process than the physical thing. Today’s card is the 9…
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I am at the beginning of day 2 of a 4 day personal retreat. The main presenter has gathered several of the mentees that have been working with her over the last year to gift their sacred gifts and medicine as the retreat offering. I have been following the main presenter/teacher for some time, taking…
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The Justice Card Card number 11 in the Major Arcana. This card comes up for me on a rather regular basis and although it is a “positive” card, I admit I really struggled with my relationship with it. I mean there are the obvious meanings – truth, justice, balance, legal matters, etc. – but I…
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The 5 of Cups as The Victim. “I am resentful that I have to rely on others for money. I’m resentful at myself for making the decisions that led up to these choices and my present circumstances. I want to blame Kath and Rebecca for convincing me to go into the full program when I…
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