just let it go

just let it go … this is one of my most triggering things to hear.   I absolutely hate it when someone tells me to let something go.   Contemplating just what exactly is it about this particular phrase that just gets under my skin. I checked in with my body. And I landed on something juicy….

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destiny

Part 2/3 For August 1st to 11th, 2022.   For Part 1 check out my previous post, “take me to your healer”.   Destiny. We truly misunderstand this word – this concept.   Often we understand destiny or fate as something that we cannot control. Things that are out of our hands. It is either…

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bones

“You”, she said, looking directly at me, “need to get into your bones“.   And then she looked away and went back to addressing another student’s question. I hadn’t even asked my question. I had barely even opened my mouth to speak.   But she knew.   Her acute embodied-ness of her boundaries could see the…

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triggers

Let’s suppose for a moment, that you, like me are working on some kind of self-actualization.   Call it whatever you want. Even simply “being a better person”, or “being the best version of yourself you can be”.   A lot of us are striving for this for some reason or another. Just consider the…

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Shitty Day Revelation

Today was a shitty day.   No nothing bad happened. The world in general was kind to me.   However in this morning’s journaling I came to a rather stark and honest realization about the current state of my health.   I’m ok. This is not to insight panic.   But also, there is something….

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The Red Dakini

I feel like I am starting to gather at the point where I am no longer tracking my actions, my activities, my daily bread tethered to the nervous systems of other people and situations. I am beginning – the first tender threads taking root – to be lead by this thing called Desire. I am…

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I love the time and in between

I love the time and in between The calm inside me In the space where I can breathe I believe there is a distance I have wandered To touch upon the years of Reaching out and reaching in Holding out, holding in I believe This is heaven to no one else but me And I’ll…

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Safety Security Home

I don’t think I’ve ever really talked about this publicly but in early 2020 I decided to disengage from almost all contact with my mom.   At present, July 13th 2022, I realize it’s been exactly 2 years since the last time we exchanged emails privately and since Christmas of 2019 since the last time…

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What About My Inner Teenager?

We often talk about doing Inner Child work. In the land of self discovery and integration there is reconnecting to the Inner Child as a place of healing trauma, integrating difficult experiences, and reclaiming creativity. Yes to all of that.   But what about our Inner Teenager? I don’t really hear this part of ourselves…

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The Money Experiment Step 1

The beginnings of this experiment start pretty much where many money mindset books and courses start.   It started for me by writing out some of my adaptive money habits and beliefs but with a twist. You see, many exercises ask you to journal all of your “negative money beliefs” through visualizations or mediations or…

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