Today was a shitty day. No nothing bad happened. The world in general was kind to me. However in this morning’s journaling I came to a rather stark and honest realization about the current state of my health. I’m ok. This is not to insight panic. But also, there is something….
Read moreThe Red Dakini
I feel like I am starting to gather at the point where I am no longer tracking my actions, my activities, my daily bread tethered to the nervous systems of other people and situations. I am beginning – the first tender threads taking root – to be lead by this thing called Desire. I am…
Read moreI love the time and in between
I love the time and in between The calm inside me In the space where I can breathe I believe there is a distance I have wandered To touch upon the years of Reaching out and reaching in Holding out, holding in I believe This is heaven to no one else but me And I’ll…
Read moreSafety Security Home
I don’t think I’ve ever really talked about this publicly but in early 2020 I decided to disengage from almost all contact with my mom. At present, July 13th 2022, I realize it’s been exactly 2 years since the last time we exchanged emails privately and since Christmas of 2019 since the last time…
Read moreMourning My Future Self
The last year and a half have been a sort of unravelling so to speak. The illuminations that have revealed themselves – my truth – have been so starkly honest. I am eternally grateful that I have the capacity and the self compassion for myself to be able to witness and digest Truth without…
Read moreRemembering the Bones of My Work
Opening to unseen possibilities. Healing in unexpected ways. I’ve been deep in the cauldron these past few days. Sitting in the wisdom of the New Moon in Cancer, the flesh and blood of my anger and grief shedding from my womb, I’m deep in the crucible. A few days prior to the beginning…
Read moreFlesh and Blood
My womb is shedding. I am writing this under a New Moon in Cancer, June 28th (well now, technically June 29th), 2022. Yesterday I experienced wildly painful period cramps, nausea, the works. I put my hands on my body and I asked it “How do you want to be held right now?” Laying face down,…
Read moreA Father’s Day Message
This is my dad. I never really got to know him. I was 3 when his spirit decided it was time to disengage from this world. This past Sunday was Father’s Day and I realized that I have a lot more questions about what this concept of “father” is than I do reference…
Read moreAn Experiment is Born
I spent some time this morning, as I often do, journaling and digesting anything potent that came through in dream land. Last night was a particularly potent night for me, as the Full Moon illuminated my Ascendant. What would this bring about? I wondered as I drifted off to sleep. An epiphany. Over…
Read moreThe Practice of Being Human in Intimate Relationship
From today’s journal entry … For context, I was contemplating my particular flavour of how I avoid intimacy. We all have different strategies, and a few years ago through deep inquiry, real life practice, and adventures in relationship experimentation, I discovered that my particular flavour is a kind of fog. Keep things vague….
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