honing home

The concept of “home” has been of particular interest to me my whole life. I suspect I’m not alone in this quest. However our yearning, our sense of honing in on what home is and what it means seems to come about in different ways for each of us.   In the recent years of…

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you can’t always get what you want

You can’t always get what you wantYou can’t always get what you wantYou can’t always get what you wantBut if you try sometimes, well, you just might findYou get what you need   Let’s break this down … On one hand, we have New Age Spirituality telling us that if we want something sincerely enough,…

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why grownups have ruined fun

We adults tend to suck the fun out of things. We believe (oh, yes, it is a belief, not a fact) in our own seriousness and suffering. We dry up the wells of creativity with our preconceived expectations of how reality should be.   The truth? We have literally no fucking clue why we’re here and what this…

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waiting for the ground swell

What is your capacity to sit in the liminal? What is your tolerance for waiting and listening for the ground swell?   Mine is growing. Every day. I have been sitting in this bardo for years now. Listening. Deep surrender. Sometimes and often … Modulating between wanting for something to happen … And waiting for…

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hunger

What do you hunger for?   I have been contemplating on this in an ever deepening way recently. Hunger. What does it mean to be in relationship to our hunger?   Around 12 years ago I was initiated into chronic illness and after over 8 years in remission, it has come back around to teach…

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mutual ambivalence

mutual ambivalence.   These were the words that came to me as I was contemplating my relationship with my mother this morning. Mutual ambivalence.   Esther Perel speaks to ambivalence in all ranges and types of relationships: “Ambivalence exists in every relational configuration, but we put a lot of pressure on romantic love, in particular,…

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substance part 1

People want substance these days. Hell, I want substance these days.   An astrologer I listen to used the term the other day that struck me. She said “in the spiritual entertainment business …”   There it is. The Spiritual Entertainment Business.   Calling it exactly how it is.   That’s exactly what the majority of our…

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a word on punishment

My mom said something to me this morning that was so revealing and it struck deep. A flippant remark, yet, telling. Telling of humanity perhaps or our maturity as a collective perhaps – I’m still not sure.   She was talking about my cat actually. We’ve just recently been letting my indoor/outdoor cat outside in…

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letters to my past self part 1

If you haven’t read my latest post you might not be aware of this major liminal space I currently find myself. Something about the liminal is that it always inspires me to digest and reflect. It’s prime integration time in other words.   I don’t talk about this too much here on the blog, as…

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